Gratitude

I have been contemplating, cultivating a heart of gratitude. Since there are struggles here with my new life in this new place, what does it look like to be grateful. Now I know that I could list all the things that aren't wrong with my life, but I seriously want to be grateful for the life I am living, not just the one I am not.

A couple of days ago, I assigned my 12 year old a writing assignment. The title was to be My New Life in Tennessee. (I really didn't connect the assignment and what was going on with me, at least not consciously). She wrote the following.

My New Life in Tennessee by ERA

Life is a lot different than when we lived in Florida. Houses are farther apart and your farther from town. We have a lot more trees. I like it better in Tennessee than in Florida. One, it is not so crowded. Two, it is a lot prettier, mountains, wildflowers, and crystal clear lakes. Three, our family isn't split up all the time like we used to be. We are homeschooled, so we get done with school about 12:30, then we do our chores and then sometimes we play outside or read. I love my home in Tennessee.

Although we might need to work on the writing abilities, I am truely amazed at the grateful heart. She is taking what she has and being thankful. I want to do that also.

Until next time..............

Loneliness

I have been really feeling lonely lately. I knew it was there, but kept turning my eyes upward and knowing that the Lord has a plan. Last week the tears began to flow pretty constant, even now as I write this and think about loneliness, my eyes are welling up with tears. Just to think about how many people suffer from this everyday and for many years, is enough to break my heart. It is not as if I have no one, many of them literally have no one. I have a wonderful husband, who is just really busy right now trying to keep his head above the water and the tides of this economy and all the changes in our life. I have four beautiful daughters , I am undone thinking about how the Lord has kept them and continues to work in their lives. However, they are growing up. The oldest two are best friends, the youngest two play together. I have a new church with wonderful, warm and caring brothers and sisters. They are all in different seasons of their lives with young children and many of them are several years younger than I. It makes me feel as if I have no one because it seems everyone has someone. I have my dear husband of course but when times are busy like now, it is so hard to connect in a way that really fills me. I am such a people person with such a need to "connect" and I realized today that I am completely missing the many days of fellowship I had in our home before our move. I was a part of a large community and active in many things. Now my days are simple. It was something that I had wanted but had no real idea of how the pangs of loneliness would affect my soul. So much so, that at the first opportunity to "have a party," I really let down my guard. I just operated out of such a desire for fun and fellowship. That could be really dangerous if the Lord didn't keep me and I am so glad He has shown me this place of vulnerability so that I can be on guard. It was a safe place to learn the lesson, and the lesson was easy to remedy. He was faithful to the end as always. Now to lean on Him all the more for this need for fun and fellowship. I wonder if this is just an opportunity to feel for a moment what Jesus felt in the garden when everyone abandoned Him and he needed them to watch and pray. If we remember that we are called to share in the sufferings of Christ, and that trials will come, and that they will purify our faith as gold, then and only then will we look to Christ to be our all sufficient supply. Even though this is just a small taste of suffering, certainly no where near the type of suffering that many of my brothers and sisters around the world are facing. My prayer is that when I am lonely I will remember more deeply those that are truly suffering.

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1 2:4

and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. Romans 8:17

But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. 1st peter 4:13

advice to remember

If we are more critical than encouraging, more dissatisfied than grateful toward our husband, that is a sure sign of self-righteousness. When we are overwhelmed with gratitude for God's mercy toward us, it will be easy to encourage our husbands.

PROVERBS 19:11 Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.

Raising daughters who glorify God with their lives.

This statement will inevitably provoke all kinds of responses. I know it does in me. This is a great calling. If I had planned to raise my daughter to be a lawyer, my husband always says this is what I should have been (no one can win an argument with me), I think at least the plan would be easy. She would study hard, go to the best schools, follow with the best college, get in with the best practice and wow your daughter is a lawyer. However, this idea of raising a daughter who glorifies Christ is in fact in line with the great tension of the christian faith. I must do all I can to point her to him, but I cannot work in her heart. Only He can. I can guide, and turn and wrestle but only He can succeed for His own glory. I must rest in Him. Whether or not my daughter is a lawyer or not is really not at stake but her humble submission to biblical femininity is. While this guiding goes on it is imperative that I teach biblical femininity and call her to submission to all that God reveals in His word. This post will be continued.