Today it is hitting me that my oldest daughter is about to take her first flight (both literally and figuratively). She will be traveling to Africa with a team of adults to serve them and an orphanage. She is growing up and moving on. This is what we want for our children. We set out to train them to serve and depend on the Lord alone. Oh, but the letting go is harder than I thought. Sometimes being a big picture person is a real bummer. That makes me laugh, as my friend always told me "everyone doesn't think like you do". I cannot just see that she will leave for two weeks, I see that this is the first flight which will eventually lead to the next and then the final flight from the nest. I suppose it would be hard whatever circumstances but this year is hard because of the loneliness I feel in my new life. It is not necessarily due to the amount of time spent with people. It is more related to the intimacy of relationships. They are not as deep, because the majority of relationships are new. My relationships with my family are changing. My girls are getting older which translates to, more independence. It doesn't help that all this comes during hunting season, a time when I normally feel alone. So what is all this aloneness about? Well scripture says " God's will is for my sanctification." I feel it everyday. I have been trying to be faithful to whatever the Lord has for me each day. There are times when I feel that I am missing so much but then must turn my heart to Him and know that He is performing His perfect will.
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