Fall is here

The leaves have changed and are beautiful. The weather is cool. The fireplace is warm. This is my second fall living in Tennessee. I am learning each day to enjoy the view of the beautiful mountains. I know that the cold that is coming will bring some joys and some struggles. The main one being that I need to be active. I would much rather sit and study by the fire. However, the calories you burn doing that are insignificant. So treadmill in the basement, here I come.

I am feeling better at times. Still strange pains occurring and fatigued muscles. Learning each day to be more intentional about praising the Lord. He is worthy, on that there is no question. It is really a matter of whether or not I am seeing Him or just looking at myself. Therefore, I have begun to look for Him in the dailyness of life. To look for places of grace and beauty in the moment.

The heat of summer and the coolness in the air.

As I thought about how and what to write this morning, the feeling of the cool morning literally makes me know that seasons change. The heat of summer wears us out and although we enjoy those early days, by the end we need some cool refreshing days. My summer has been hot, both literally and figuratively. Extreme schedules, many visitors, tragedy and the heat of my own sin have brought me to my knees . Being trapped by the sin, wrestling with it and crying for deliverance from it, brought me much sweat and toil. Oh that we can lie down in green pastures. Since moving here to the mountains, I am amazed how scripture is so applicable. Lying down in one of these green pastures that I pass everyday with a beautiful blue sky and mountains all around, the coolness of the breeze, can you imagine the peace. Can you just feel the first days of cool weather? When our Lord comes in and grants us repentance, it is like these mornings. Just a taste of comfort, a small portion of what it will be like when we are brought into His heavenly kingdom. I am comforted by the truth that seasons change, there is an expectation that brings delight. Weeping may endure for the night but joy comes in the morning. This life is temporary and the seasons of it are temporary and the trials last for but a moment.

Writing A Book

Well, my young friend Tiffer has always told me to write a book about parenting, being a wife and about life in general. This weekend my new friend Peggy spent about 4 days in our home, she came to me on Sunday and said "you take this for what you want, but I really feel like you should write a book about parenting, being a wife and life in general. " The only thing holding me back is that I feel completely inadequate to write a book, do not feel wise enough to write about life and really have no idea about how to write a book. So that is a small hurdle. LOL, literally. It is very encouraging and kind of these young women, however, I will need the Lord to bring this to pass if it is His will. Anyway it will be a great if I can just be faithful to blogging. :)

Showing Hospitality

I am exhausted physically but so encouraged and charged spiritually today. We have had the opportunity to have missionaries from Africa stay with us for four days. They are the people Bridgette met on her short term missionary trip to Africa. We had people in and out from Thursday to Sunday. Sunday was the whole church, food and fellowship. I enjoy having people in my home so much.

Matt, Peggy and baby Joelle were a delight to have. We enjoyed their fellowship and laughter immensely. It truly was a much needed refreshing.

This week begins the countdown to AGYG. We have rehearsals from 6-10 every night and all day Saturday and Sunday. Then two days off, dress rehearsal for two days and then opening night. It is very exciting. We have learned a lot about the world, ourselves and our God. He is so faithful and His mercies are new everyday.

Navigating open space

I haven’t blogged for a really long time. I think some things have changed, some remain. Today’s post is about my kids.

I have always rejected the idea that I was to send my kids into the world to be ambassadors for Christ at an early age. First of all how do you know that your child is truly saved and therefore an actual ambassador. We have always taught our children to walk in the ways of Christ based on biblical commands, however how could they represent one they do not know, therefore, we felt we must wait.

Now that my children are older and have given credible testimonies of salvation with evidences of repentance, I am ready to send them out as ambassadors of the Lord they claim. However, I am still not ready to send them onto the battlefield all alone or without marching instructions. So off we go into the wide open world to navigate this new space, the theater.

It has been incredible to see how the Lord has met us daily in our reading. We have seen Him answer prayers. We are stretched spiritually and physically. We are having to walk in faith each day to see where he will take us. There are no answers for tomorrow only light for the day. It has been a great thing to walk with my girls on this journey.

#2 stays so close to me, even across the room. She is not venturing into the circles, is it pride, judgement, fear or not wanting to compromise? #1 is all over any laughter or fun that may present itself, is it compromise, trying to reach others for Christ, not using discernment? These are things I cannot give absolute answers for at this time. I see my children having to walk through and make decisions for each step of the way. However, I have been faced with this truth. I am not the author or finisher of their faith. I know the author and finisher of my faith. If their faith is real, He will complete the good work He has begun in them.

This is a new space but I am so thankful that He is giving me the faith to hold onto truth. He isn’t phased by space or time. Since before the foundations of the world, His plan was there, perfect and finished.

2011 and Today

I know I haven't posted for a long time. Perhaps the struggles have lessened and daily life has increased. In January, as most of us do, I wrote out some goals. Here is my list below.

Daily Goals for 2011

Scripture reading and praying

serving husband

teaching/disciple girls

resting in the Lords daily plans for me

making a schedule

family read alouds

church attendance

personal growth reading

gardening

exercising

healthy diet

These things I would like to accomplish this year with the Lord’s help. I would very much enjoy my heart being all there and my body having the energy and gumption to give it all I have got. My time with my girls is shortening. It will be a great opportunity to share these next years with them.

I am so thankful for this list as it has helped me to focus on trusting the Lord for help, guidance and most of all the "resting in the Lords daily plans for me". That has been the hardest this year with the move and the changes. Many questions I have had, but so far 2011 has proven that His plans for my day are just as real and true as His plans for my life. It is so easy to say "God is sovereign and has all my days numbered". Can we trust that this day, no matter how mundane or insignificant or frustrating, was one of those numbered days? It is a challenge and comes only by the renewing of our minds. Well it is only February and the rest of the year is yet to come, good to know it won't take my Father by surprise. By the way, two weeks from now marks the one year anniversary of starting over. It is so good to see God's faithfulness yet again.

Letting go......again.

Tonight's musings: Well it must be about pruning or cutting the apron strings or letting go. I think you get the picture. My daughter is in Africa. She had a situation. She needed me but couldn't get to me. She felt the weight of making the wrong decision, and I feel the sadness in my heart that I couldn't help her. Although the weight of consequences is one I want her to feel, but I want to be there to remind of truths like "we all fall short of the glory of God" and His mercies are new every day" and "there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ." There are many more that come to mind and I want to shout them from here to Africa so that she will hear them and be built up in the Lord and encouraged to keep running the race. I must trust that the one who wrote these truths in His word also has and will write them on her heart. He is forever faithful.

As a side note, she and I watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding recently and two of my favorite scenes are "why you want to leave me" and "Is he good boy, I don't know. Is he "something else" I don't know." Tonight I feel like this greek dad who has to let go. (By the way, his daughter is 30) MINE IS NOT. However all this is preparation for the future. What future "I don't know." Because I do not know what lies ahead for her or for me, but I do know this, the Creator of the Universe knew before the foundations of the earth that my daughter would go to Africa, and how He would use this in her life and mine. I also know that He is good and that He loves her with a pure love. My prayer tonight is that in this time and that place, that she will find Christ to be all she needs.